Don't you just fucking hate it when you break a finger nail so short it hurts?! It feels like you are being stabbed in the bloody eyeballs whilst having your intestines taken out via your arsehole with chopsticks??

You have to decide whether to rip the nail off or leave the remains hanging. But what if it gets caught anyway?!

Check these top tips out!

TIP 1: The quick cheap one. Put a plaster/band aid tightly around your broken finger nail (whether the nail be half off or all off) to stifle the uncomfortable feeling. After a few hours you will be able to remove the plaster and you will be pain free.

TIP 2: Use fiber paper and nail glue to fix the nail. Adhesive glue is for use with manicure and pedicure fiber paper, when carrying out nail repairs. Fiber paper is a natural, effective way to mend a broken nail. I recommend Jessica Nails

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Just because I don't have curtains in my front room, doesn't give you an invitation into looking into my home.

Everyone that walks past, I swear they are looking for some car crash or some gossip to share with friends. Some of the walkers past even come back for a second look in hope. Just damn RUDE.

"Oooh, guess what I saw in a house round the corner? I saw a full on orgy with 3 midgets, a pre-op transvestite and a labrador. Oh and a well endowed black girl. I can't believe the scandal in this street"

Far from it. Me and my partner are just watching TV. Nothing to see here, move along.

Next time i'm going to go outside, wave at them vigorously and say "Hi, how are you?" and ask to borrow their jump leads so I can attach them to one of the midgets nipples for my erotic enjoyment.

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Why do people find it hard to say "Yea, ok, I messed up. I am human, I'M SORRY"

These are words that we invented, we intended to use them so why can't they be used without feelings of depression and remorse?

Today at work I was blamed via email for something which yes, I made the mistake, but the mistake shouldve been spotted and corrected by another member of staff, it's their job.

To try and lighten the mood of the written conversation, I said this:

"There is a well known proverb used amongst the people, which would be very appropriate for both of us right now:

“Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups”

I don't think it went down well...

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Well I have a some friends that are really good friends and some friends that are just acquaintances. You know those friends that you don't call or text but you invite them to your party so you look popular?

Anyways, I have one particular friend, I love her dearly and I have known her for about 7 years now, gosh. I'd be talking about something really interesting, like my new bad ass hair style, or what new pair of 5 inch heels I bought on the weekend and BAM, just like that, she'd start talking about something else! Its like,

"Can you not hear me talking?"

"Can you not wait till I've finished talking? I've listened to what you have to say"


The same thing happens to me at work. I mean, I am a loud, outspoken person and at these points in time, I am not whispering or mumbling, I am speaking with clarity and conviction and BAM, i'm cut off again!

Whats with these people?! Are they just rude? Are they just bursting to say what they need to say?

NOTE: The only people you are allowed to talk over are your siblings or your partner. I do it to my boyfriend all the time because its allowed.

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So, we were all up for a good night out on Saturday, it was my boyfriends sisters birthday, nice! It all started great around my house with drinks and we were all looking forward to a good old time and busting some wicked moves on the dancefloor of Mantra in Windsor.

We hired a cab to take us to the club, all having a laugh and a giggle singing old school tunes and taking the piss out of Lil 'Lazy Mouth' Wayne on the way. "Just like a cop carrrrr". Yeah, good start to the night!

We got to Windsor at 9.57pm to be exact, which wasn't a problem as they wasn't putting the entry price up till 11pm. When we turned the corner to walk to the club, we saw the queue was MASSIVE! However, we had our alcohol jackets on and we thought we would get into the club pretty soon. So we started chatting to random people in the queue making queue friends. I found out this girl had her first black boyfriend! From the way she was walking and the smile on her face, I don't think she will be dumping him anytime soon.

10 minutes passed and we hadn't moved anywhere and our alcoholic armour had started to show some chinks. We quickly became freezing and parts of our bodies were turning numb. Not a good feeling with 4 inch heeled open toed shoes on.

Another 10 minutes had passed and we had moved all of 2 metres. When where we going to make it in??? Finally, we got in at 10.30pm with a sigh of relief. Our night could finally begin!

I think I did the movement where you make a fist in the air and bring it down close to your body in triumph.

Excitedly we ran to the ladies at the desk and they said:

"£15 please".

Through chattering teeth I replied:


... to which they responded


Now wait one cotton picking minute, advertising everywhere said it was £10 before 11pm, even their own website! I wanted to stand there and argue but my partner who has to constantly keep me in check just said:

"Stina, lets just pay and go in for godsake"

If it was my night out, I would've got the manager down and made them charge me and my friends the correct price, not the price they decided that moment they were going to charge us, or I wouldve just gone to Vanilla Night Club round the corner for free and told them where I was going. The club obviously wanted to take advantage of the situation and assumed that because people had queued up for 30 minutes in the cold they were willing to pay anything. There was 8 of us so times that by £15 they made £120 from us, not including drinks.

It was actually really busy that night because some idiot called Danny Dyer was "djing" and they wanted to make as much money as possible.

The night didn't get much better, my friend saw Jack Tweed, Jade Goodys husband, walk up the steps inside the club. Great, this place attracts fucking twats. When Danny Dyer came on, most girls rushed forward whilst I hung back with my blackitude.

Blackitude [blak-ee-tyood] – noun Slang. Attitude most often adopted by black people to demonstrate a total lack of enthusiasm or care for any task undertaken. Usually accompanied by a noise produced by sucking of the teeth to further illustrate a lack of regard for virtually any situation which requires effort or verbal communication.

His opening line was "What a great crowd! Bollocks to it, lets play some music" For some reason there was another guy playing the CD's...?! Hmmm, I thought Danny Dyer was meant to be djing. He spent the whole night rambling some incoherent drug induced rubbish and using words only an uneducated fool would use.

After he got off, the original DJ came back on and I was free to cut some pretty damn impressive shapes as always. To be honest I couldn't wait to get home as it was so cold in there and my night had already had a downer put on it from the a fore mentioned events.

I spent most of Sunday sleeping and being sick. Thanks for that Mantra.

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