Q: Quite often when having sex with my girlfriend, the condom splits! Am I doing something wrong or is there something wrong with me?

A: If a condom is used correctly, it shouldn't split. A split condom can result from the following:
  1. Storing your condoms in a hot place like a car on a hot day
  2. Using one that is past its use by date
  3. Damaging it when opening and removing it from the wrapper
  4. If you're stupid enough using the same condom more than once.
The condom is likely to split if not enough room as left at the top. The trick to leaving enough room is pinch the tip (the teat) of the condom between two fingers with one hand as you place it on the head of your penis, then continue holding on to it as you roll the rubber down over your shaft with your other hand. Lack of lubrication is another common cause. Always use a water-based lube like KY Jelly, apply to the outside of the condom whenever you experience dryness of your partner down below. Be aware that any food, lotion, or any oil-based product will cause latex to wear thin and eventually go pop!

It's also possible that your condoms are not the right match for your penis. Most condoms are made to men of average size when erect which is about 4 to 7 inches. If the ones you usually use does not cover your entire shaft, or if it feels to tight, try a brand that caters specifically for well-endowed men.

By following these few simple steps, it should prevent your condoms from splitting in the future. Don't forget that a split condom not only runs the risk of the girl getting pregnant, it also exposes you and your sexual partner to STD's. So if a condom does split it is very important to replace it before continuing sex.

We all love new technology, but you know as soon as you buy something a week later it will be in the sale half price and discontinued. This has been my problem for some time. I have been looking for a TV for my bedroom for ages, and every time I find something I like, I look at the price tag and bam, well into the 4 figures. I know as soon as I take that one off the shelf something newer and better will come along within weeks.

That’s when I think to myself what’s the point? I already have a TV in my bedroom, it maybe big and look like it’s from the stone age but the picture quality is still good. It comes to that old saying “If it isn’t broken, then why fix it?

You can go to your local electrical shop and see 50” TVs for £500, and you think to yourself "Wow all that for that price, bargain!" But there is a reason for that price, ITS OLD! It’s like going clothes shopping and looking at last season’s fashion.

With the introduction of 3D TV in 2010 a new wave of TVs are to emerge. To be able to view this new technology you will need to upgrade your TV as well as your DVD player and Sky box (Unless you have the new Sky+ HD box). All this comes at a price, a price the £500 50” TVs were a year or two ago.
The question is, do you keep up with technology and at a price? or Go for last year’s technology and be happy with second best? The choice is yours!

Seriously, there are so many drivers out there on our roads that I wonder “How the hell did you manage to get a license?” From collecting tokens in the News of the World and did you get a free bonus CD of Stevie Wonders greatest hits?

I’ll start with idiot middle lane drivers. Please tell me, what’s wrong with the inside lane? Is there something you’re not telling me? Do we use more fuel in that lane? Does it wear our tyres quicker? Is there some kind of inside lane monster that will jump out at you causing you to flip your car a bunch of times? No! So why do they persist on driving in that lane at 60mph when the inside lane is free. Then have the cheek to give ME the middle finger or look at me as if i’m in the wrong!

Well you’re wrong !! So unless you are overtaking, get your slow arse stupid self in the inside lane!!

Another thing that really gets up my nose is when your waiting behind 2 cars (one in each lane) at a set of traffic lights. You wait, wait some more, then the lights go green and your guess what, your still damn waiting! At what point did the driving test start teaching people that when you're at a set of traffic lights, don't watch the lights, just sit there and wait for the car next to you to start moving and then you can go! NO, you watch the lights you stupid fools and when they go green, you go!

Last but not least, how many times have you been behind another car as you approach a roundabout and as you get closer you start to look to see if it's clear. It is clear but to your horror as you glance back at the road in front, you hit the brakes and brace for impact because the stupid idiot your following has stopped! WHY? WHY? WHY? I ask and guess what, if you hit them it's your fault! It's your insurance that has to pay out!!! Is there really any need to approach the roundabout, stop, then look, have a moment to decide, then look again, think about it a little more then slowly pull away! Seriously, what is wrong these people, if you can't look to see if the roundabout is clear as you approach you shouldn't be driving full stop!


Now, I am a colossal fan of X Factor. Every Saturday from September through to mid December, I am glued to my tv watching this show. I have honestly scheduled my social life around it and even my own birthday celebration, I am that much of a fan. Watching the rise of Leona Lewis, that other guy Leon (dropped faster than Jordans underwear) , Alexandra Burke (love love love!!) And the latest winner Joe McElderry (Yawn), it’s been some fantastic TV.

One thing that really got to me this particular season was this bungling duo who managed to charm the pants off Cheryl, Louie, Simon, Dannii and the rest of the nation. And I must admit, there was part of me that was secretly looking forward to these tone deaf, rythmless dancers to jump up on stage and make absolute fools of themselves for the sake of entertainment. Once the world woke up and realised that we are actually watching a talent show and these 2 lacked any form what so ever and decided to vote these two out, one was hoping they would wither away and join the rest of the X Factor rejects and make the occasional Cameo appearance.

However, these two must have the same manager as Jade Goody (god rest her soul), as they seem to just be popping up everywhere and indorsing everything. Somehow they managed to pull together a single which brought out Vanilla Ice back from the grave with intent to use this as an attempt to relight his mediocre career, but that’s another hate for another day.

Last thing I heard is that the gruesome twosome will be going on tour with another X Factor joke Eoghan Quigg and that really say’s it all. I would like to bitch some more, but I am in a good mood. So all I will say is I hope that these Z list celebrities will eventually disappear into a deep dark bottomless pit where they will be long forgotten like Jodie Marsh and the 7th member of the Pussycat dolls (seriously, look it up, there were 7 originally).

Jedward, your 15 minutes of fame ended 10 hours ago, please take the hint and do the rest of the world a favour!

Seriously, I think anyone out there who owns one of these cars gets an automatic licence to drive round like an absolute tit!! They are always the drivers who will drive up your arse, they will always be the drivers who would cut you up and they are always the drivers who think the road belongs to them and that we should feel somewhat privileged to grace the same surface as them.

I'll be honest enough to say that I am quite a fast driver and have been known to push the limit, but I think we would all be in agreement when I say "all BMW drivers should be shot!!" They drive around with their dark sun glasses, driving round like they run the place. Who do they think they are?

I was driving home the other day, going pretty quickly (as I really needed the loo), and this crazy BMW driver came straight up my arse and had the audacity to start flashing me to move over. Now, I’m quite a calm person and can take quite a lot, but this guy really made me see red. The fact that I was already speeding past most drivers in the slow lane anyway meant nothing to him. I really wanted to get out my car, go over to his window and bitch slap him with my ring hand.

Learn to drive like a normal person and maybe we'll get along. They act like their cars are all that but to be honest, I'd rather be seen in a Skoda! Yes I went there.

How many times has this happened to you? Pulling up to a junction, you look left, then right, then left again and a massive 4x4 comes pulling up next to you, blocking your sight!?! Seriously, what is the point in them? It's like some big black curtain has been pulled next to your car blocking your vision. How bloody irritating!!

I can honestly see the point of owning 4x4 cars.... If you live in the country. But what really grinds my gears is people driving these monstrous cars in the city. What is the point? They are too big, too expensive and too polluting. To get yourself a decent 4x4 you need to spend at least £30k, then there is tax which is like £400 a year, then a bucket load on petrol each week and then add in the cost of irritation from normal drivers on the road and you are looking at a damm expensive vehicle to which you don't even use properly.

These people must have more money than sense when it comes to purchasing one of these vehicles, I honestly have no issue if you live in the country and use it to its full capability, but these city dwelling "soccer mums" who don't even know that milk comes from cows, I bet have never even used the car to go off road.

I'm pretty sure if we did a survey on the amount of people who use these beasts of a machine in the city and asked them if they actually used them off road, the percentage would be lower than the amount of straight men in the entertainment industry.

I was at the supermarket the other day and the only available space I could find was next to one of these Chelsea Tractors. Due to the size of it taking up quite a lot of the space I had to park quite far over just to get out of my car. Went to the shop and came back and found that another beast parked to the other side of me!! Needless to say, I was not a happy bunny, not only did I have to proper squeeze into my car, when I went to pull out... I couldn’t see a thing!!

2 words comes to mind.... all terrain... what's the point in spending a stupid amount on something if you are only going to use half of it. It's like going to the theatre and only watching the first act!! Wake up people!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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